Friday, March 14, 2008

The toughest WIP of all











Dear folks,

A new post (finally!) after a 1.5 month absence, and this is not even about knitting! I'm working on the toughest WIP of my life - our little baby gal was born on Feb 10th, and she has managed to turn our lives upside down in just 5 weeks.



This has been the most dramatic roller-coaster ride 5 weeks of my life. People tell me they fall in love with their babies on sight. Welllll... Our little one turned out to be a bundle of contradictions

She looks like an angel when asleep but turns into a little banshee when she's hungry
She head butts my breast for food but squirms, kicks and cries when she gets it
She falls deeply asleep in my arms but wakes up wide-eyed the second her butt touches the bed/rocker
She cries when hungry, cries when full, cries when her diaper is wet, cries when we try to change it

I was emotionally drained. There was just no pleasing this little one. All my carefully laid out plans and coping strategies were steam-rollered under the force of her cries and whimpers.

And then, she got sick with the usual infant problems, one following the other : reflux, thrush, sore throat, diaper rash, cold... I became paranoid mommy, surfing the web and forums while nursing her to find out what I did wrong to cause her little body so much damage.

As I diligently syringed medication into her little trusting mouth, I kept reminding myself that this will be over soon. "She'll stabilise in two weeks and then we can have a normal life".. I told myself. Two weeks passed, two more... and still I kept waiting for the day when she won't be so 'sick', when I'll have an ideal little baby to bring out, when I can spend hours knitting with her coo-ing happily next to me.

Then one day, as I stared at her willing her to stay asleep, I realised that her lashes were growing longer and curlier daily (they are longer than mine now.. so jealous). And that her nails which we trimmed just a few days ago, are long again. That's when I realised that as I was waiting and plotting, she has been growing up. There is no 'waiting for normal', cos she is normal now (albeit a tad cranky). And if I didnt start living my life with her as a part of it, I was gonna always be saying '..someday..'

So, instead of seeing this as a perpetual WIP and waiting for it to be finished, I have decided to enjoy her as an FO - finished, perfect, normal - just as she is.

10 comments:

Ing. said...

Welcome to motherhood! I'm glad your WIP-feelings have changed to FOs - because that what growing into mother means :)
I wish you all happy growing, many motivational and rewarding smiles from the baby and lots of love :)

alt.ayu said...

hehe i like the second pic best~! Love her expression there~~ :) xoxox

V said...

She's such a cutie. Congratulations!

Anonymous said...

That's a great post. She's a cute & adorable FO!! - sharks

Regg said...

Hey!
Congrats!!!
Lovely BB gal u got there! all thebest :D

Susan said...

You are already such a wise mommy. Thanks for sharing her with us.

Yvette said...

Beautiful! Enjoy each moment. They go so fast.

Twisted Knitter said...

Welcome little one!! She's so pretty and I can tell she's terribly smart already. :-)

Siow Chin said...

Congratulations, she's beautiful! And so is your post.

Eliza said...

I'm a little late here, but congratulations! She is beautiful, and hopefully sometime in the next year you can get a little more sleep!